


The Gift

by sashach



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: English translation, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-27 12:36:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6284815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sashach/pseuds/sashach
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Happy Birthday, Bucky Barnes.<br/>May the rest of your life be filled with love and affection as it had been in the past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Gift

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hojane3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hojane3/gifts).
  * A translation of [[盾冬]The Gift 禮物](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6217123) by [hojane3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hojane3/pseuds/hojane3). 



> i'm late for Bucky's birthday, but a big shout-out to hojane3 for writing this lovely fic.  
> this translation has not been proofread. any mistakes are mine and mine alone.

1.  
1917 March 10, a boy was born in a hospital in Brooklyn. It was the eldest son of George Barnes and his wife, Winifred Barnes. George fell in love with the beautiful baby immediately. To be exact, he fell in love with the new life that had taken shape within his beloved wife when he learned about her pregnancy. But when he saw the bouncing baby yawned, creasing his pink little face, and the touch of the baby’s soft, tiny fingers lightly tapping his fingers; the happiness that welled within George was only slightly lesser than the moment when Winnie said yes to his proposal.

“My baby, he’s such a beautiful boy,” though waned, Winnie pressed a light kiss on the baby’s little face, gazing at her baby proudly.

“Yes, he’s the most beautiful boy I’ve ever seen.” Like every father, George believed that no other baby was as handsome as the one in his arms.

George knew he would love this boy forever; just as how he protected his wife, he would also protect this child with all his capacities.

The first gift for their child, apart from a brimful of love, was a name.

James Buchanan Barnes.

It was a good name.

Although they didn’t expect the name to appear on the list of soldiers killed in action some twenty years later, on the list of WWII heroes, in the autobiography of Captain America, written by someone else; or even on the list of some organizations in the next century. As parents, they wished for him to grow up healthy and well and happy. He might be a nobody, but he would get married, have kids, and have his own family. He would live an ordinary but happy life, simple as that.

 

2.  
On Bucky Barnes’ fifth birthday, his mother, who was an excellent cook, baked him a cake as she had done so in the last five years.

The cake was decorated with fresh whipped cream around the border, right in the center, drawn with syrup, was a little brown bear in the same color as Bucky’s hair, and “Dear James, Happy Birthday” written with chocolate.

Bucky was already five. He knew what the cake meant, he knew that his father would get back from work with a toy that was for him and for him only. A toy that he didn’t have to share with his two younger brothers, and another younger sister.

He knew his siblings, all still drooling, all still learning to talk, had taken up his parents’ time, but he also knew that these three little ones did not take away his parents’ love for him.

Every night, before he went to bed, his mother would kiss his curls and his forehead; his father would sit him on his lap after dinner and tell him stories.

No matter how busy they were, Bucky’s parents never forgot to express their love for him.

That’s why Bucky also loved the three little ones who couldn’t even articulate one complete sentence. The older one of the two boys would climb up his stomach and giggle, while the younger one would crawl behind him, following him wherever he go. The only girl, the youngest one, who still needed to be carried around by their mother, would scrunch her little nose that resembled Bucky’s when he kissed her rosy cheeks.

After dinner, while his father circled his arms around Bucky’s two younger brothers on each side, his mother held his sister, who stared at the cake through a lace veil-hat. Everyone stood around the coffee table in the living room and sang for him.

Although only his parents were singing. His brothers were out of tune; his mother took his sister’s hands and clapped along with the rhythm.

For his birthday that year, Bucky’s father gave him a little box that contain a brightly colored, red plane. The iron made little plane felt heavy in the hands of the boy, and the rotating propellers caught the attention of every kid.

Bucky liked the gift very much. He played with it so often that the paint was eventually chipped, making it looked old and battered, but that didn’t effect Bucky’s love for the toy. In fact, for several years in his childhood, Bucky dreamed of becoming a pilot.

Even though when he grew up, Bucky joined the Army instead of the Air Force, and never returned to the Barneses home after joining the war; the little plane was treasured and still displayed on the shelf in Bucky’s room. It was never taken down.

 

3.  
Just as George and Winnie had predicted, Bucky was indeed a beautiful child. He was cheerful and healthy, outgoing and thoughtful; his parents never had to worry about his grades in school. Bucky was the child that his parents were most proud of.

Winnie knew Bucky was popular, he had no lack of friends to play with, but she didn’t expect Bucky to also be good with little girls. She should have thought so. The rascal had a sweet smile, and a tongue coated with honey; even someone as difficult as Rebecca couldn’t resist Bucky. A couple of words from him would easily placate her. Winnie should have known her son had a way with girls.

Ten year old was the age in which little boys loved to run about. Bucky’s friends had asked him to play with them on his tenth birthday, Winnie didn’t see the reason why not.

Moreover, with Bucky playing outside with his friends, she could concentrate better on the cake.

Bucky was already ten. The drawing of a bear or a rabbit wasn’t enough to satisfy himself anymore. Winnie decided to draw a plane on the cake with the help of a plane-shaped cookie cutter. Even if Bucky had stopped talking about his dream of becoming a pilot—his latest dream was to become an adventurer—the plane was still his favorite toy.

The little girl knocked on the Barneses door when Winnie was test drawing plane patterns on a china plate.

Winnie wiped her cream covered hands clean as she called to the two boys roughhousing on the couch, and checked on her little girl who was combing the hair of a doll. After making sure her children was fine, Winnie tidied herself a little and opened the door with a smile.

It was an approximately ten years old little girl in a light blue laced dress and red shoes. She was standing at the door with a small present in her hands.

She was very adorable. Blond curls hung on her shoulders, a red ribbon donned the top her head. Her soft cheeks were rosy, and she was looking at Winnie with green-colored eyes, big and round. At first glance, Winnie almost thought she was a beautiful china doll, but china doll didn’t speak.

“Hello, may I know if James is home?” The soft tone of the little girl was very likable. Even though Winnie already had four beautiful and adorable children, she couldn’t help but smile at the little girl’s childish timbre.

“Oh, unfortunately, he’s not home at the moment. Who are you? Why are you looking for him?” Winnie had a slight idea why the girl was there asking for Bucky, more or less. She just wanted to maintain some degree of mystery for her boy.

The girl nodded, unable to disguise her disappointment, but she replied like a young adult, “I’m Rachel White, James’ schoolmate; could you please give James this present and tell him ‘happy birthday?’”

“Why, thank you!” Smiling, Winnie accepted the small present and gazed at Rachel with curiosity. “Would you like to come in? It’s James’ birthday today, his friends are welcome to join us.”

“Thank you for the invitation, really, it’s my honor,” her expression was apologetic as she turned down Winnie’s invitation tactfully. “Unfortunately, I’m going away with my family to visit my grandmother. I hope to keep your invitation for next time.”

“Of course, you’re always welcome to visit.” Winnie found it endearing how Rachel spoke in an overly matured manner. She could tell that Rachel was well-mannered and came from a good family. The little girl may not be as childlike as other children, but she possessed the grace and elegance unseen in other ten year old girls.

“Thank you for understanding, I’ll take my leave. Have a good day, Mrs. Barnes,” in her little shoes, Rachel turned to leave. She took two steps before turning around to look at Winnie.

Rachel’s face was blushing red with nervousness. Winnie was about to ask her if she was all right when she took a deep breath and said softly, “Mrs. Barnes, please let James know that when I grow up… I will definitely marry him!”

After that, the little girl ran away in a flash without waiting for Winnie’s reaction, leaving her by the door, stunned for a couple of moments. Eventually, she closed the door with a smile stretched across her face.

Later that evening, after they had cut the cake, Winnie handed the exquisitely wrapped present to Bucky.

But she didn’t say anything about the conversation earlier on. After all, a declaration like that was only meaningful when said by the party concerned. She only told Bucky that the present was from a girl from school by the name of Rachel White. The funny thing was, Bucky had no recollection of that pretty little girl.

“Little rascal goes around flirting with girls, who knows how many hearts he’s going break when he grows up.” Winnie chastised secretly. Amused, she pinched Bucky’s nose and reminded him to thank the little girl the next day. When her son promised her that he would do so, she kissed his cheeks and let him opened the box of twenty-four colored crayons that George had given him.

It was the next day when she learned from Bucky that the girl had transferred and moved to another state with her family to take care of her old grandmother.

The girl who was called Rachel White never appeared again.

But her present for Bucky, a shining golden lapel pin in the shape of a leaping deer made of metal, was kept in Bucky’s drawer, together with the pocket watch given by George on Bucky’s twentieth birthday, carefully wrapped in a silk handkerchief.

Bucky didn’t take the lapel pin with him to war, but the graceful deer always appeared on Bucky’s left chest when he was dressed up for special occasions. As for the slightly scratched bronze pocket watch, Bucky’s teammates from the commando team that he had joined in the war sent it back on his behalf together with the rest of his personal effects.

 

4.  
This was the second time that Bucky’s best friend had given him his portrait.

It was his fifteenth birthday, and Steve Rogers had used the crayons given by Bucky—a present for his tenth birthday, but he didn’t especially like to draw. Apart from school assignments, he hardly touched the box of crayons, and it seemed like Steve was better at fully utilizing the present than Bucky.

It was a colorful and vivid picture. In the picture Bucky had a warm smile on his face. Sun rays cascaded through tree leaves, complementing Bucky’s light brown hair, making it as beautiful as golden silk thread; grey-blue eyes squinted slightly, soft and bright, as if a layer of mist was lingering in the depths of his eyes.

Even his father sang praises for the portrait that Steve had drawn for him. Bucky couldn’t help but wonder if his father was glad that the box of expensive crayons had finally found the right owner, or if he was truly awed by Steve’s artistic talent. Probably both. Before his father was able to claim the portrait as his own, Bucky quickly took it back into his room.

He was glad that someone appreciated Steve’s talent as much as he did, but this was _his_ birthday present. Including the one Steve had given him on his fourteenth birthday, a portrait that had expertly captured the lights and shadows using only pencil; these were given to him by his best friend, and Bucky cherished every thoughts poured into the gifts.

Bucky met Steve when he was thirteen. That small and scrawny little blond boy, whose stubbornness and obstinacy were unlike a twelve year old. Bucky had helped Steve out when the latter was in a fight with some rogues. And since that day, the scrawny kid, who never let his ailments strike down his aspirations and courage, became Bucky’s best friend.

And Steve was smart and understanding. He might have had acted rashly at times, but Bucky knew Steve never picked a fight for personal reasons.

Bucky lost counts of the times when he wished he could be like Steve, brave and persistent.

He had always carried himself like that. He was the son that made his parents proud. He was healthy and strong, intelligent and resolute. No girls could really get mad at him, and no boys would dare to actually fight him. Bucky didn’t detest how people looked at him because of how he behaved; he was willing to do the right things for the sake of it.

He did it because he knew he should, while Steve did it because he wanted to from the bottom of his heart.

It wasn’t that Bucky wasn’t brave enough, but he understood that Steve would be the one to succeed at the end of the day.

He didn’t want to be left behind. He knew very well that he could only become a better person when he was with Steve.

Just like stubborn Steve could moved forward bravely without reservations as long as Bucky was with him.

With a piece of white paper tucked between the two portraits, Bucky kept his gifts with care. He might not be interested in art, but he knew how to keep every gift given to him.

Every year, before Bucky joined the 107th, Steve would draw him portraits with different compositions. The theme was always Bucky’s smile, but none of the portrait was similar to one and another. Sometimes Steve would include some other little things, such as a little bouquet of flowers or a handmade leaf venation bookmark. Bucky knew Steve tried his best to keep up with his living expenses and art supplies, which was why the gifts that Steve never missed to get him were so important.

Even later when they were both on the battlefields, Steve would sometimes mention things like “I might have to color with charcoal or red brick powder this time,” on the eve of Bucky’s birthday.

Bucky cherished his friendship with Steve. He knew he would never find a friend as good as Steve.

Although Bucky didn’t expect himself to fall off the moving train.

But he never regretted it.

 

5.  
The pocket watch that his grandfather had given his father was Bucky’s twentieth birthday present.

His brothers protested their father’s preference for him, laughingly; but they didn’t object to their father’s decision to give him such an expensive gift with memorable significance. They all loved Bucky; they all held more importance in their family than themselves. Except for the youngest girl, who was most doted on, Bucky and his two younger brothers grew up fooling around, fighting with one and other.

There were no misgivings between them. They grew up loving, and supporting one and other.

The older one of his younger brothers gave Bucky a silver tiepin, and as if they had talked about it beforehand, the younger one gave him a pair of cufflinks that looked like a set with the tie-pin. His sister, Rebecca, gave him a grey-blue handkerchief that matched his eye color.

His mother baked him a cake as usual. She always baked a cake for every one in the family on their birthdays. The Barneses was financially stable, they even had a car which Mr. Barnes drove to work because he was getting old, but the Barneses were never extravagant or wasteful; they taught their children to earn everything with their own hands.

Bucky knew his siblings would never ask money from their parents to get him those gifts that they could never afford with their pocket money. Just like him, his two younger brothers started to work on weekends and school vacations, while his sister took sewing chores to work at home; even the initials on the handkerchief that she had given him was sewn by her.

Bucky went to college after high school. He chose to go to Business School so that he could assist his father when he graduated. His father was happy with his decision. His mother only hoped for him to find someone he liked among the girls he had dated and take her home one day.

These things seemed too far away for Bucky, but for the older generation that had been through the cruelty of war—like the Rogers—Bucky grew up listening to the heroic deeds of Joseph Rogers, who never came back from the war, with Steve. Finding a nice girl, getting married, having children were also important.

But Bucky had yet to find that girl. Unlike his father who had found his mother, or Joseph who had found Sarah; he had yet to find the person he truly loved.

He loved his family, loved his friends, loved everything good and beautiful around him. He liked the cute dimples of girls when they smiled, he also liked the happy sounds of kids playing in the allies with grins on their faces, he even liked when Steve—that punk—behaved stubborn as a mule.

But he still had no idea who to spend the rest of his life with: to be generous and loving with each other the way his father loved his mother; to keep one in his heart steadfastly and eternally the way Sarah loved Joseph. Bucky wanted all of that, but he had not thought about how that person should be like. He liked kissing girls and holding their hands, but he also liked spending time with Steve.

He knew these things could not be compared, but he knew even if the girl did appear, there would always be a spot in his heart reserved especially for Steve. In comparison to the girl whom he didn’t know where she was and when she would turn up, Steve, who had always been by his side was much more important.

Moreover, if he didn’t keep an eye on that stubborn kid, no one would take care of Steve who was now all alone.

At least before Steve found himself a smart girl, who could see beyond his scrawny and delicate appearance, and truly recognize his worth and essence, Bucky would not think about where to find that girl for himself.

“Happy birthday, Bucky,” Steve’s gift for him this year was still a portrait, together with a grey-blue tie in white stripes. It seemed like it came in a set with the handkerchief that Rebecca had given him, even the material was shockingly alike.

Bucky decided not to ask Steve how much of his living expenses was spent on the tie, he just flashed his most sincere smile, thanked Steve and accepted the gift. His family got him presents because they loved him, just like Bucky loved Steve. He hoped to stay by Steve’s side, witness Steve find his own happiness and he would still be there for Steve.

And so the moment Bucky saw the beautiful and intelligent Peggy Carter walking straight toward Steve, unfazed by the admiration projected from the mesmerized crowd in the pub, he was too happy to say a word. He didn’t need such a wonderful girl to lay her eyes on him and like him because a truly perceptive girl would understand how amazing Steve was.

Bucky knew the best gift god had given Steve was not the serum that had relieved him of all his ailments and discomfort; god’s most wonderful gift for Steve was a soul mate. Bucky was genuinely happy for Steve. This was only thing he couldn’t do for Steve because he couldn’t decide for Steve who to love.

Or else everything would be so much simpler for Bucky.

 

6.  
“You loved her,” Bucky was taking out all sorts of drawing papers and little ornaments from a box. He picked up an old compass and opened the lid. In the black and white picture, Peggy was still as graceful and alluring.

“No, not like that,” Steve reached out his hand to take the compass. He still remembered when the higher-ups notified them that some people were going to film some promotional materials, one of them had shove the compass into his hands as they gave a run through of the process. “That’s inaccurate.”

“You still love her?” Bucky creased his brows tightly, so tight that a deep ditch appeared between them. It was difficult for Steve to control his fingers and not smooth that area, but Bucky didn’t duck away from his touch like he did at the beginning when he was starting to remember fragments from the past.

Also in the box were some accessories that Steve had seen Bucky worn before: the no longer shiny deer lapel pin, the chipped and mottled little vintage plane, a black and murky baseball, a kid-size pilot cap, and a portrait of Bucky that Steve had drawn for him.

Rebecca’s granddaughter had sent Bucky his belongings.

It was said that when she was a little girl, Rebecca would take out those things and tell her the background of every item, and when had Bucky used them. Sometimes, as she shared the stories, Rebecca would get upset and cry. After Rebecca had passed away, her family intended for the box that was full of memories to be buried with her, but Rebecca had stated in her will that the box of souvenirs that contained Bucky Barnes’ memories and love should be given to her granddaughter.

The girl recognized him in one of their missions when a tv station caught the profile of Bucky. SHIELD accepted the box on Bucky’s behalf—to make sure that it didn’t contain any inappropriate articles, such as, bugging device, or explosives—before sending it to the apartment that Bucky and Steve shared. She didn’t want to meet Bucky. Her grandmother loved Bucky very much, but to her, Bucky Barnes was just a character in storybooks. A smart and handsome man loved by all.

Bucky’s image, when he reappeared in public, was apparently different from what she had imagined.

The box of gifts contained all the memory and love everyone had for Bucky. Bucky might not remember who had given him some of the gifts, but he was always staring at them, as he placed them in his palm, carefully caressing them.

“No, I never loved her.” Bucky was remembering a lot of things, but not enough. At least he had no knowledge of those little thoughts that Steve had kept in his heart. Bucky obviously thought his memory did not collaborate with Steve’s descriptions. The deeply profound expression on his face said that.

“You know, I—” Steve choked a little, out of embarrassment. He was never ashamed of this relationship, he couldn’t say it before, and now most people wouldn’t mind if he said it, so he went on quickly, “I love you, the person I love is Bucky Barnes.”

“That’s now,” Bucky nodded. He never doubted that Steve loved him, and he wasn’t jealous that Steve had loved Peggy. That was a long time ago. Just like Steve would never get jealous of the many female friends surrounding Bucky Barnes in the past. “She’s the best thing that god had sent you—”

“No, Bucky. You still don't get it.” Steve interrupted Bucky. Smiling, he picked up a portrait from the box. The boy in the drawing was smiling at Steve. Written at the corner of the yellowed and creased water color painting was the year 1933. Bucky turned sixteen that year, almost three years after Steve had met and fallen in love with this boy. But Steve dared not let the boy know, so he declared his feelings each year with a portrait.

Too bad the boy was too dense to notice that.

Steve had initially thought that his opportunity to express his unrequited feelings had disappeared together with the blue silhouette as it diminished in the deep crevices in the snowy mountains. He didn’t expect god to bring this reserved brown-haired man before his eyes back into his life, and inject life and hope into his soul once again.

“I do respect and love Peggy, but I never loved her the way I love you; _you_ are the best thing that god had sent me,” Steve put the drawing back inside the box and cupped Bucky’s scruffy chin and cheeks. He licked his lips, pressed a light kiss on those luscious lips and continued, “From the moment we met, everything that we’ve been through, that’s the most valuable gift god had given me.”

Bucky gazed into Steve’s eyes, as if deep in thought. Very slowly, after a long moment, he replied, “That’s good because that’s what I thought, too.”


End file.
